Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-27219200-20151115021519/@comment-10353303-20160308230542

Le Dernier Vache wrote: Look, the simple fact is, we all know that Reyna and Buford the table are the golden couple. How can anyone compare to this majestic piece of flying furniture whose very limbs and plies of wood are the very sinews of Olympian ingenuity and possess even more passion and stamina then Ares and Aphrodite on a Friday night. His smooth mahogany exterior shows his virtuous path in life, striving to reflect honest, compassion and modesty. His polished legs are testament to the Heraclean strength that he possesses and no foe can stand before his mighty legs. His bronze base symbolizes chastity and loyalty, and further highlights his compassion and how he is, physically and figuratively, a support for people in need. Finally his high quality steam vents signifies advancement, the far-sighted vision that he possesses and his ambition to do good. How can one deny this match that was truly made in heaven, this divine couple were always meant to be. It is absolutely ludicrous and truthfully, heretical that any other unholy and ungodly "pairing" would be suggested other than these two. Here, let me explain why all other pairings involving Reyna are inferior.

Let's start with Jason. What can Jason do? He can fly? Great. So can Buford (and he can do it better without getting tired). Jason 'forgets' his girlfriend? Hah, get real. Buford never forgets. Unlike Jason, he is loyal to the one he loves, just see how he never cheated on Leo (before they broke up). Unlike Jason, who's personality is as attractive as the goose defecation on my shoe, Buford is trained in the art of seduction. Look at the Demigod Diaries, Leo practically BEGS him to return. He had Leo so wrapped around his finger that Leo actually personally tries to find him.

What about Percy you make ask? Well, the evidence is pretty clear, as also explained above. Unlike Percy, who just timidly says that he already has a girlfriend to Reyna and then shies away from her like she is some rabid animal, Buford is assertive. Remember the Demigod Diaries and how he took those syncopators after loudly protesting his hatred of Windex when Leo used that on him? Yeah that's right. He took those syncopators like it was nobody's damn business. That's how you make a presence. Preach to the choir brother!

As you can see, Buford and Reyna were meant to be. Reyna might be above all guys, but she isn't above Buford. In fact, I think Riordan should make a new series just about them, without the angsty melodramatic bs Riordan put in for  PJO regarding Annabeth and Percy because screw it, he's a God damn table and he'll treat her right.