User blog comment:SayuriDarling/The Mark of Athena Official Discussion/@comment-24138807-20121110064026/@comment-2229042-20121117003800

Percy Jackson and the Singer of Apollo

I know what you're gonna ask: Percy Jackson - why are you hanging from a Times Square billboard without your pants on, about to fall to your death? You can blame Apollo: the god of music, archery, poetry, and also the god of making me do stupid quests.

This particular disaster started when I brought my friend Grover some aluminum cans for his birthday. Perhaps I should mention; I'm a demigod. My dad Poseidon is Lord of the Sea, which sounds cool I guess. But mostly, it means my life is filled with monster attacks, and annoying Greek gods who tend to pop up on the subway, or in the middle of math class, or when I'm taking a shower (long story, don't ask). I figured maybe I'd the day off from the craziness for Grover's birthday, but of course, I was wrong.

Grover and his girlfriend Juniper, were spending the day in Prospect Park in Brooklyn, doing "naturey" stuff; like dancing with the local tree nymphs, and serenading the squirrels...Gover's a satyr, that's his idea of fun. His girlfriend Juniper seemed to be having an especially good time, while Grover and I sat on the bench together, she frolicked across the long meadow with the other nature spirits, her chlorophyll tinted eyes glinting in the sunlight. Since she was a dryad, Juniper's life source was tied to a juniper bush back in Long Island, but Grover explained that she could take short trips if she kept a handful of berries in her pockets. I didn't want to ask what would happen if the berries accidentally got smashed.

Anyway, we hung out for a while, talking, enjoying the nice weather...I gave Grover his aluminum cans, which may seem like a lame gift, but that's his favorite snack. He was munching happily on the cans, when the nymphs started discussing what party games we should play. Grover pulled a blindfold out of his pocked, and suggested "Pin The Tail On The Human" Which made me kinda nervous, since I was the only human.

And then, without warning, the sunlight brightened. The air turned uncomfortably hot. Then, twenty feet away the grass hissed, and a cloud of steam whooshed up like someone opening a pressing machine in a laundomat. The steam cleared, and standing in front of us was the god Apollo.

Now, gods could look like anything they wanted, but Apollo always seemed to be going for this "I just graduated from a boy band" look. Today he was rocking pencil thin jeans, a white muscle shirt, gilded Rayban sunglasses. His wavy blond hair glistened with product. His smile made dryads squeal and giggle. "Oh no!" said Grover. "This can't be good."

"PERCY JACKSON!" Apollo beamed at me. "And um...your goat friend!"

"His names grover? And we're kinda off duty, Lord Apollo. It's Grover's birthday?"

"Happy birthday!" Apollo said. "I'm so glad you've taken the day off: that means you two have time to help me with a little problem!"

Naturally, the problem wasn't little. Apollo lead me and Grover away from the party so we could talk in private. Juniper didn't look happy about it, but she couldn't argue with a god. Grover promised to come back safely; I hoped it was a promise he could keep. When we got to the edge of the woods, Apollo faced us. "Allow me to introduce, The Chrysiaechallidones! (oh god why) The god snapped his fingers, more steam erupted from the ground, and three golden women appeared in front of us.

When I say "golden" I mean they were literally gold. Their metallic skin glittered. Their sleeveless gowns were made from enough gilded fabric to finance a bailout. Their golden hair was braided and piled on top of their heads like a classic beehive hairdo. They were identically beautiful and identically scary. I'd seen living staues, automatons, many times, and beautiful or not, they always tried to kill me.

"Uhh..." I took a step back. "What did you say these were Chrissy...Kelly...something?"

"Chrysiaechallidones! Golden singers! They're my backup band."

I glanced at Grover, wondering if this was some kind of joke. Grover wasn't laughing. His mouth hung open in amazment, as if the golden ladies were the larget, tastiest aluminum cans he'd ever seen.

"I didn't even think they were real!"

Apollo smiled. "Well it's been a few centuries since I brought 'em out. They don't perform too often these days, or their novelty wears off. They used to live in my Temple of Delphi -man, they could rock that place- but now I only bring them out for special occasions. Grover got teary eyed. "You brought them out...for my birthday!?"

Apollo laughed "No you fool! I've got a concert tonight on Mount Olympus. Everyone's gonna be there. The Nine Muses are opening, and I'm performing a mix of old favorites and new material. I mean it's not like I need the Chrysiachallidones, my solo career has been great, but people expect to hear some of my classic hits with the girls! "Daphne on my mind" "Stairway to Olympus" and "Sweet Home Atlantis".

I tried not to look nauseous. I'd heard Apollo's poetry before, and if his music was that bad, this concert was gonna blow harder than the wind god Aeolus. "Great!" I said halfheartedly. "So, what's the problem?"

Apollo's smile faded. "Listen!" He turned to the golden girls and raised his hands like a conductor. On cue, they all sang in harmony. It was one chord, but it filled me with bliss. I felt like I was floating out of my shoes. Then the golden girls went silent. The feeling passed. Their faces turned back to passive metal. "That" I said. "That was amazing."

"'Amazing'!?" Apollo said. He wrung his hands. "There's only three of them! Their notes are empty. I can't perform without a full quartet!" Grover was weeping with joy. "They're so beautiful... They're perfect" he sniffled. I was kinda glad Juniper wasn't there, cause she's the jealous type. Apollo crossed his arms. "They're not perfect mister satyr, I need all four or this concert is ruined. Unfortunately, my fourth Chryllodae went rogue this morning; I can't find her anywhere." I looked at the singers. "How exactly does a backup singer go 'rogue'?"

Apollo made another conducter wave, and the singers sighed a three part harmony. The sound was so mournful my heart sank into my gut. "They're out of warranty. Hephaestus made em for me back in the old days, and they worked fine, until THE DAY AFTER THEIR TWO THOUSAND YEAR WARRANTY EXPIRED. Then naturally, wham, the fourth one goes haywire, runs off to the big city." He gestured in the general direction of Manhattan. "Of course I tried to complain to Hephaestus, but he's all like 'well did you have the protection plus package?' and I'm like 'I didn't want your stupid extended warranty!' and so he says it's my fault she broke, if I had the stupid plus package I'd have all that dedicated service online and-"

"Whoa, whoa whoa." I really didn't want to get into the middle of a god versus god argument, been there too many times. "So if you know your Chryllodae's in the city, why can't you just go look for her?"

"I don't have time! I've gotta practice! I've gotta write a setlist, and do a soundcheck! Besides, that's what heroes are for!"

"Running the gods' errands?" I said.

"Exactly!" Apollo spread his hands. "I'd assume the rogue Chryllodae's roaming the theater district, looking for a suitable place to audition. Chrysiaechallidones have the usual starlet dreams; getting discovered, headlining a Broadway musical, that sort of thing. Most of the time I can keep them in check, I mean, I can't have them upstaging me, can I? But without me around, she probably thinks she's the next Hannah Montana. You two need to get her before she causes anymore problems and you'd better hurry; the concert's tonight and Manhattan is fairly large.

Grover tugged his goatee. "So, you want us to find her...while you do soundchecks!?"

"Think of it as a favor" Apollo said. "Not just for me, but for all those mortals in Manhattan."

"Oh no" Grover's voice sounded very small. "What?" I asked. Years ago, Grover had created a magical empathy link between us -another long story- and I could sense his emotions, I could tell he was terrified.

"Percy!" He said. "If that Chryllodae starts singing in public, in the middle of rush hour!?"

"She'll cause no end of havoc." Apollo said. "She might sing a love song, or a lullaby, or a patriotic war tune, and whatever the mortals hear..."

I shuddered. One sigh from the golden girls had plunged me into despair. I couldn't imagine what it could do in the middle of the city in rush hour. "Okay, she has to be stopped, but why us?"

"I like you!" Apollo grinned. "You've had the sirens on your case before, this isn't too different. Just put some wax in your ears! Besides, your friend Grover's a satyr, he has magical resistance to music! Plus he can play the lyre."

"What lyre?" I said. Apollo snapped his fingers and suddenly Grover was holding the weirdest looking musical instrument I'd ever seen. The base was a hollowed out tortoise shell...which made me feel really bad for the tortoise. (? Can't hear) It looked like a combination harp, banjo, and dead turtle. "Hullo! I-I couldn't! That's your!-"

"Yep." Apollo said. "That's my own personal lyre. Of course if you damage it, I'll incinerate you, but I'm sure you'll be careful." Grover plucked a few notes that sounded like a funeral dirge. "If you keep practicing you'll (?) the magic" Apollo said. "Have Percy distract her while you play.

This quest was sounding worse and worse. I didn't see how a tortise shell harp was gonna defeat the automaton, but Apollo clapped me on the shoulder like everything was settled. "Excellent! I'll see you at the empire state building at sunset! Bring me the Chryllodae, one way or another, I'll persuade Hephaestus to fix her. Just don't be late! I can't keep my audience waiting, and remember, not a scratch on that lyre!"

Then the sun god and his backup dances disappeared in a cloud of steam. "Happy birthday to me!" Grover whimpered, and plucked a sour note on his harp.

NOW THIS ENTIRE FORUM WILL HAVE TO LOVE ME.